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It sounds so easy, don’t you think? For me, when push comes to shove, there’s a clear “NO” sounding in my head. And still, my mouth says: “Of course I’ll do that for you”. And then I feel like could hit myself. Because I don’t even see the slightest chance of adding that to my already bulking work-agenda.
Not to mention, having a family with the whole zoo that accompanies them of course. Little children who think the mud from outside is the most wonderful thing to bring inside the house, and two dogs, always ready to help them with that. And teenagers who like to party, but do still need a taxi service to get them there, and back home again.
And I always stupidly say: Yes!! Of course! And even with a lot of enthusiasm.
What is it that makes that I always want to please other people. Well knowing that there are only 24 hours in a day. Really, do you have extra hours in your day? I have tried it for many years, but the days just won’t expand only because you try to fill your agenda more and more. Am I really that afraid that other people won’t like me anymore?
But not today… Today, I did great!!! Incredibly great!
I can do it!
Saying NO, to an adult even. Because saying no to my children is easy, because it is part of the parenting package. But saying no to an adult… that was a lot harder…
Today I got the request to create podcasts for someone else, even about a subject I’m totally in to. And yet, I did it: I just said NO.
And I said it in such a way that it even made me feel good. Dear, I’m absolutely thrilled that I was the first one to come to mind when you were thinking about this, but I am going to say no this now.
Wonderful: I just said NO. And all that even without feeling guilty. That’s a double score. Because that’s what makes it hard. They’re all nice people who ask you those things. And you want to please them. And then, when you say now, the guilty feeling kicks in…
So I started thinking: if I do this now, if I accept this, and fully go for it, then I know I will hit my walls. I will be stressed and irritated, and that won’t be any help to that person at all. So there’s no need for me to feel guilty about it.
And what was the reply I got? No problem love, I’m glad you take some time for yourself! If you still feel like doing it in the future when you have more time, just let me know! WOW!!! I even got respect because I was able to do it: say NO 🙂
And yes, I was nervous. And I had no idea what the response would be. And I didn’t feel like having to defend myself. Just: say no!
And I needed that NO. Because I needed the time to myself. My agenda was saying no too. Because I don’t want to spend the whole day, just being busy, because everybody appears to be busy. I don’t feel like doing that anymore. I want my rest and peace and quiet too.
Rest should be more widely accepted in our society. Because honestly, when you’re stressed, don’t you take it off of the people around you? Indeed, me too. And it totally drains my energy.
So I can say no now, and I will do that again. Just because I can, and just because I’m allowed to. And honestly? Because I’m well worth it!!! 😉
So what about you? Can you say no easily?